[This article originally appeared on AOL Personals in April 2009]

Getting a woman’s phone number (or digits) is the Holy Grail for most men frequenting bars and clubs. In many cases, it’s their only goal for the evening. The more numbers, the better. The higher your total, the better “player” you are. …Or so they think.

According to Nick Savoy, CEO of Love Systems (a company that teaches men all over the world how to meet and pickup women), getting a girl’s phone number is an admission of failure. “It means you can’t take the interaction any further.” For real players, you don’t stop the interaction with an attractive stranger until the following morning.

But for those unable (or unwilling) to take an interaction to a sexual conclusion, getting a woman’s phone number is as far as you’re going to get.

So how do you get her number?

Nick provides these helpful tips…

1. “First of all, the point is to get her phone number – not just give her yours.” It might not sound fair, but women won’t make the first move by calling you. You have to do the heavy lifting. You probably think that women are reluctant to give their numbers out to complete strangers. You’re right. You have to build rapport and become her friend before asking for her number.
2. “Never ask for an email address.” Unless you’re at a business networking event, keep your business cards in your pocket and forget about asking for her email address.
3. “Integrate your request for her number naturally in your conversation.” Talk about an activity or event you’ll be attending, and if she expresses interest and enthusiasm, ask for her number, so you can make plans for her to join you.
4. When she’s ready to give you her number, hand her your phone and ask her to punch in her number. Call the number immediately. Not only do you want to make sure the number’s legit, but this gives you the opportunity to save your number into her phone. Ask to see her phone and save your number, “using a unique name that references a high point in your conversation.” If you talked about scuba diving, save your number under the name “Scuba Mike.” You don’t want her wondering who “Michael” is when you call two days later.

So, you’ve met an attractive stranger, had a great conversation, and got her phone number. Congratulations!

Now you gotta know what to say when you make that first phone call. Don’t sweat it – Nick’s got some advice on that, too.