Thursday, April 25
I woke up late today, as usual. For some reason or the other, I am physically unable to wake up on time. My alarm goes off, and I just hit the snooze button. No matter how important it is for me to get up, my mind refuses to even acknowledge that fact. Yes, I can remember opening my eyes at the sound of the buzzer, and I remember smacking down on the Snooze, but mine was more like the reaction of a zombie. A blank action, absent of conscience.
I ran into Shelia this afternoon. I don’t know why, but I am so saddened by her lostness. She’s your average, prep-frat drinking gal, obsessed with being in the “In” crowd. I hate those kinds of people. I realize I’m no better than they, but sometimes I tend to think individuality marks a true character. But then again, some strive to be individuals, and they come off looking like idiotic fakes, grasping for attention. The alternative age in which we live. A society of ageless adolescence.
Shelia is a captive soul. Her friends drag her down. If she only had friends of the Light. Friends who would pick her up when she falls. Instead of laugh and mock. I tend to believe I am a child of Light. So, why can’t I be that friend to her? I am repulsed by her actions. Every word that comes from her mouth is registered as annoyance within me. Why can’t I feel compassion when I am with her? Instead of always swelling with guilt at the end of the day, alone and in my room. It’s easy to sit here and write that I care for her well-being. It all changes when she’s there, talking to me. I care not for her then. I care only to be away.
Finals are upon us. Shelia is in my Revelation class, Religion 342. Our final is Wednesday, May 1st. It won’t be difficult at all. I must make a note to read the chapters, though. After that final, I will begin packing for my ever-anticipated trip to Paris in France. J’ai attendu longtemps, n’est pas?
I was almost unable to go on that trip, had it not been for the early start of this Spring semester. We get out so early now at college. I’ve become so accustomed to these long summers in college, that even last week, I found it utterly absurd that my cousin in high school will be studying ‘till June 20th. High school is so disgustingly harder than college. So much so, that ‘since graduating in ‘94, I’ve put on quite a few pounds and have become a seriously lazy bum. It was really bad on my grades early in college, but those mournful grades have ‘since risen above average.
Yesterday, I purchased a couple of school notebooks to use as journals on my trans-continental journey next week. Tired of marathon readings of Skinner’s tiny box, congegations of irregular verbs, and the Quadratic Formula, I have decided to break in the new journals now and lose myself in trivial thought. A supreme work of procrastination, wouldn’t you say? And your name, sir?
I’ve found this beginning quite refreshing, and must now return to my studies. Farewell, and adieu.
Thursday, April 25th
Another day. Another night. But praise the Lord, I got an “A” on my Biology test! I studied a bunch for that test. It must have been over six hours. I guess that kinda tells you how my social life is… Ha ha. But I am happy.
We had our Bible studies organizational meeting today at the Canteen. Josh, Megan, Chris and I were the only ones to show up. Oh, Anthony stopped by, but didn’t really say much. Actually, he never really says much! Ever! He’s a weird one. Chris mentioned how Anthony’s involved with the “bad people.” But you know Chris. Sometimes he can be annoying.
Daddy bought mom this great, big chandelier for their anniversary. It’s really beautiful. They’re going to have it put up in the dining room. Personally, I think they should switch it with the front hall one, and put that one in the dining room. But what do I know about interior design?
Oh, last night was great. The service was terrific. Mr. Hamilton spoke on spiritual warfare, and it was just completely eye-opening. It’s always good to be reminded of our spiritual battles. I sometimes get preoccupied with school, work at the paper, and things like bills, relationships, and even traffic. But we don’t fight flesh. It is spiritual beings that we battle. The devil and his demons. It’s scary to think of what Satan can do and does. No doubt, demons are a scary bunch. But I guess having God on your side kinda eliminates the fright, huh. I’m so glad God is on my side. If God’s on my side, who can be against me?
Of course, my dad wasn’t at the Wednesday night meeting again. I guess God hasn’t laid it on his heart to go yet. I pray God will save him. He’s such a good man, and I love him dearly. Please God, save my father. I don’t think I can handle being in Heaven and looking down at dad in such torment in Hell. I know there’s no sorrow in Heaven, but I just don’t see how I can bare to see my father suffering in Hell and not sob uncontrollably! God’s gotta save him. Please, God. You know that’s my prayer. It’s always my prayer. It’s my prayer tonight, and it’ll be my prayer tomorrow night.
There was no fellowship group tonight. There’s no more for the semester. It’s odd being at home Thursday night. Hopefully, we can set up the summer studies. We didn’t really get anywhere today, but there’s still a couple weeks. Actually, I’d better just concentrate on finals. I still need a good grade on the Biology final to raise my grade to at least a B. Plus, there’s French, History, and New Testament.
So anyway, lots to do and lots to think about. I thank God for his blessings and another day of life. I’ll praise Him forever.