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	<title>Michael Tolosa &#187; Amends</title>
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		<title>Making Amends</title>
		<link>http://michaeltolosa.com/2010/04/making-amends/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=making-amends</link>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 29 Apr 2010 02:14:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael Tolosa</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Amends]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.michaeltolosa.com/?p=337</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[One of the things I want to accomplish during my time of unemployment is to make amends for some of the major mistakes I&#8217;ve made and the people I&#8217;ve hurt in my lifetime. Sounds like a major undertaking, right? I was inspired to do this by reading up on some of the philosophies of 12-step [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>One of the things I want to accomplish during my time of unemployment is to make amends for some of the major mistakes I&#8217;ve made and the people I&#8217;ve hurt in my lifetime. Sounds like a major undertaking, right?</p>
<p>I was inspired to do this by reading up on some of the philosophies of 12-step programs (e.g., Alcoholics Anonymous). One of the 12 steps in all of these programs is to make amends to all the people you&#8217;ve wronged in the past. I thought this was a worthy undertaking for anyone – not just people in a 12-step program. It was a very Christian thing to do.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s true that God will forgive your sins if you ask for forgiveness, and that Jesus paid the penalty of those sins on the cross – but just asking God for forgiveness doesn&#8217;t make things right with the person you&#8217;ve wronged. As best we can, we should make restitution for the harm we&#8217;ve caused others. And that&#8217;s where amends come in.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve made an extensive list of people I would like to make amends to. Not only people I&#8217;ve harmed during my youth, but some I&#8217;ve harmed in my professional life as an adult. In the next few weeks, I will be contacting these people and making it a priority to make amends with them – not only ask them for forgiveness, but also do whatever is in my power to make things right between us.</p>
<p>To start things off, I thought way back to my early childhood, living in Arlington, Virginia. The earliest episode of wrongdoing I can remember is when I stole toys from a local drug store after piano lessons. On the way home from the piano teacher&#8217;s place, my mom would often take us to People&#8217;s Drugstore (now CVS). I remember two occasions when I opened the package of a G.I. Joe figure and shoplifted the figure out of the store. One was a <a href="http://www.toyarchive.com/STAForSale/NEW2001+/GiJoe/MOSC/EelMOSC1a.jpg" target="_blank">Cobra Eel</a> frogman figure, and the other was <a href="http://www.primetoystore.com/toys%20for%20sale/gijoe/watermocossin.jpg" target="_blank">Copperhead</a> the driver of the Water Moccasin vehicle.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m not totally sure the Cobra Eel was shoplifted, but am definitely sure Copperhead was, as I thought long and hard as a child how I could remove the figure from the vehicle box without being seen by anyone. And that was the second time I had stolen a figure.</p>
<p>When I got home that evening, I used the same lie as the first time. I went outside, then ran back inside the house feigning excitement and claiming I had &#8220;found&#8221; the figure outside in the yard. I guess my mom thought it was too coincidental for me to find two brand new G.I. Joe figures in the yard in a short amount of time, so she called me out on my lie and was furious that I had apparently stolen the toy.</p>
<p>Overwhelmed with guilt that evening, I spilled my guts to my mom, while crying on the couch. She forgave me and, I believe, took the toy from me, or made me give it to my cousin Robby. I&#8217;m not totally clear on what happened to it, other than I never got to play with it.</p>
<p>God forgave me of that sin of theft, but every time I think back upon it, I feel paralyzed with embarrassment. Which is why I finally felt the need to make amends for it – albeit 25 years later.</p>
<p>To the best of my ability, I&#8217;ve tried to locate where that People&#8217;s Drugstore used to be. Naturally, it would now be a CVS, but I didn&#8217;t know where in Arlington it was. I asked my family if they remembered, but none really could. Jamie did suggest one possible location of a CVS on Glebe Road that was close to the vicinity where we lived.</p>
<p>I went to the CVS this afternoon and had a very awkward conversation with the manager.</p>
<p>I walked in and asked one of the clerks if I could speak with the manager. Soon after, a Middle Eastern woman came out and asked me how she could help. Stumbling on my words, I told her I had a very strange story to tell her. I told her (within earshot of several customers and employees) that I had come to this store when I was a child and shoplifted toys. I felt bad about that and was here to make restitution for my theft. I took out $40 from my wallet and handed it to her.</p>
<p>She was dumbstruck. She asked me why I bothered. I told her that I was a Christian and felt bad for my previous thefts and was here to make amends. I took out a Gospel of John and handed it to her. &#8220;It&#8217;s what Jesus would want me to do,&#8221; I said. She told me she would be right back.</p>
<p>She returned after several long minutes with another woman – her supervisor. She had explained the story to her supervisor, and the supervisor asked me to repeat the story. I did. She smiled and thanked me for the effort, but said I should give the money to a church instead. She said that God sees everything and that He knows I&#8217;m sorry. I told her I already give money to my church and that this money was for the store to make up for the money it lost from my shoplifting.</p>
<p>The supervisor didn&#8217;t know what to say. Eventually, she exclaimed that no one had ever done this before. She accepted the money, and I left the store.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m not sure what effects my action may have. I certainly feel like I can put that episode of shoplifting behind me and never be embarrassed by it again. As for the two women I spoke with… one of them seemed to be a church-going Christian, while the Middle Eastern woman just remained silent and observed what was going on. I can only hope that my action may spark up a spiritual discussion between the two women. And just maybe one of them will read the Gospel of John I gave her.</p>
<p>And the reason I&#8217;m blogging about these events is to inspire other Christians to think back on their past and make restitution with people they&#8217;ve harmed. You never know how God will use that.</p>
<p>God forgives sins, and if you&#8217;re a Christian, Jesus has paid for your sins (past, present, and future) already. But it&#8217;s up to you to set things right with the people you&#8217;ve harmed.</p>
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